I’m really excited today to have my friend Kristy guest posting about making the transition from a family of two to a family of three to (now) a family of four! Can you believe she’s only 25?! She’s a great momma with a great sense of humor, and I think you will really enjoy her post, especially if you’re like me and struggling to find time for yourself and your spouse.
HEY HEY! I’m Kristy and I have two awesome kids, Ryder and Lucy. Ryder will be 4 in January, and Lucy just turned 1 on September 1st! Oh, yeah, I’m also married to George……no he’s not a 65 year old man. But I mean, really, he has an old man name. George and I have been together since we were 15 years old. We met at church camp and held hands on the church van ride home. It was so magical…….are you gagging?? Yeah, me too.
I have a little blog called Roe and Lee, and I write about my life with my fam and fun things I find while shopping. I really can’t help myself when I find something cute or something that makes your clothes smell A-Mazing. Sometimes I think that I should have gone into advertising, I love sharing my finds! Which, by the way, you must go buy a Bounce dryer bar right now if you don’t own one. I’m shouting my love from the rooftops! So come visit me at Roe and Lee! Whoop!
Misty asked me to write about how things have changed in my family and how we have made the transition from being a family of three to a family of four. Well, honestly I don’t know! I have been married longer WITH kids than without. I guess that is the case with most people, but maybe not at 25 years old. Ryder was born 18 months after we got married, and we have been married for five years!
Before Ryder we were able to do all the normal, fun things childless couples get to do. Ya know, deciding 30 minutes before a movie started that we were going to go see it, going on impromptu beach trips with friends, finishing supper and crashing on the couch to watch whatever we wanted on TV. Ohh…..what a life! Then Mr. Ryder came and ROCKED MY WORLD. Probably more negatively than positively at first. Of course I loved him with all of my heart, but what a change! I had NEVER held a baby until I held my son. I was so used to being able to be selfish it was hard at first coming to realize we couldn’t just drop everything and go out with friends, things had to be planned. Which, if you knew me pre-kids I was anything but a planner. George and I did settle pretty quickly into the parent state of mind. We would do things with friends still, but we were PARENTS first and foremost. Of course.
At first we tried to have date nights once a week. But that quickly dropped off to maybe 3 times a month, then just when we had a chance to. Then it would get to a point when we would have to really think back to the last time we had been out on a date. We were just tired, busy, and honestly just wanted to spend time with Ryder. When your kid is so cute and fun its easy to get so wrapped up in the family you have now that you forget about your little family of two before the cute kid came along.
Lucy coming into the Edmondson fun did make certain situations stressful that weren’t before. Suddenly Ryder asking for juice 30 times before giving me a chance to say “Ok dude, I’m getting it” started to grate on my nerves. I remember one day that I just broke down. Ryder went to pre-school until 12 noon about 3 or 4 days a week. One day after I dropped him off I got back in my car and thanked the Lord that I didn’t have to deal with him for another 4 hours. WHOA!!!! WHAT?!?!?! I then went home and felt like the worst mom EVER for even thinking such things. I cried. I called my cousin who is a super hero mother of four and vented BIG TIME! Am I the worst mother ever for thinking this? Turns out, NO. I needed to re-group. I needed a little space so I can be a better mother, and I needed some consistency with quality time with George.
So for a while Ryder has been going to school 3 days a week until 5. Lucy and I have gotten to chill together, and I have been able to pull back and recharge for a little while. And for about 4 months now, George and I have been going on weekly dates. Every Thursday. We are pretty lucky that both of our parents live within 10 minutes of us, so they swap keeping the kids each week. Making weekly time for ourselves, even if its just 2 hours, has been the best thing ever. Ya know how Dave Ramsey tells people that they can’t afford NOT to save?? Well, we can’t afford to waste our time at home, NOT going on a date.
George and I always look forward to Thursday night, and this is Ryder’s last month going to school til 5:00. We just needed to step back, get a plan, and make spending more purposeful time together a priority. I have friends that say it breaks their heart to be away from their kids or that they cant bear it. Listen! It needs to break your heart that you and your husband havent been going to the freaking Cheesecake Factory as often as you would like!
Now, go appoint one night a week as your date night! First date suggestion: Go buy the movie Bridesmaids and pop popcorn and drizzle melted Nutella on top. You’re gonna love it. Really Bridesmaids is the best movie ever….as long as you don’t mind crude humor. That’s it for me!
Thanks, Misty, for having me!
No joke, I was literally just talking with Bobby about this and making efforts to plan some “us” time. I love what Kristy had to say here, and as a first-time mom, I can definitely see the truth in it, too! Thanks again for posting, Kristy!