First birthday extravaganza!! Or not.

This kid will be a year old in less than three months.

I can hardly believe that I am actually having to start thinking about my child’s first birthday party.

This can’t be right, can it? Time can’t possibly have passed this quickly.

Le sigh.

I’m sort of debating what we will do for his birthday. He won’t remember it, obviously, but we are definitely going to do something. Bobby and I initially talked about have a party here and one back home, then it was just going to be one party back home at a centrally located park.

But really, is that even necessary? Now I’m thinking maybe we’ll just have a little get-together for immediate family — Bobby’s parents, my mom, our brothers and sisters, and Noah’s cousins.

Honestly, I think if we just give the kid cake and let him crawl (or maybe walk, by that point)  around and be the center of attention, he’ll be happy. He really doesn’t even need any more new toys, and it’ll be much easier on us to organize something small.

But I think I’m sort of feeling the pressure to perform as a mom. I see other moms who are doing these really amazing themed parties for their babies, and it makes me want to do that, too. If I take a second to think about it, I realize that most of these moms are in a situation where there is either an older sibling, family members close to their child’s age or several friends who have kids close in age.

It’s hard to cast aside that desire to compete, to make sure my child has the best I can give him. And that’s just kind of silly. Noah will be just as happy with a small family gathering as he would a huge party. I will be able to focus on him rather than decorations or party favors or ensuring 30 other people are happy.

I think my decision is made.

If you are the parent of a young child, have you gone this route? How did it go?


8 responses to “First birthday extravaganza!! Or not.

  1. You are so right, your little one wont remember the first birthday party. But you will! You have to do what is right for yourself. In my opinion it will be a celebration of your ability to make it through a whole year as a parent.
    I think my son was pretty overwhelmed by his first birthday party, we had about 35-40 people there. All in all it was a great day, but if I had it to over I might have had a few less people there to make it a bit more intimate.

  2. For Ryder’s 1st birthday we had it at my mother’s house and only immediate family was there. It was nice. I remember being so nervous when his birthday was coming. I felt like I had to preform too. It was nice to take the pressure off and just surround him with a small group that loves him.

    But I will say, by the time Lucy came around I had a couple of birthday parties under my belt, so it would have felt silly NOT to throw her a larger party for her 1st.

    I think it’s kind of like sticking your toe in to see what the water is like the first time around, then afterwards you can’t wait to jump in. I had friends that couldn’t believe I didn’t have a huge party. “But it’s HIS FIRST BITHRDAY!” they would say. Um, exactly. He has no clue what’s going on!

    As long as you celebrate his life and love on him that’s all he needs!

    • Can definitely handle celebrating/loving on him! I just want him to have a good time but for me to be able to look back on the party with fond memories too … not memories of running around trying to hang up balloons, making sure everyone has a drink, etc. Maybe bigger parties will come later if he wants them, but I think this year we are going to go small!

  3. I have friends who are very into the super planned parties. Because planning parties is something they love and it makes them happy. They are the people to whom I will outsource the twins’ party planning. Because it stresses me out and I am not into it.

    • I’m so not that person. I think people who are able to execute these awesome parties are amazing, but it just kind of stresses me out, too. And I love hosting people, but for more low-key get-togethers. I think my oldest sister got all the party-planner genes in our family.

  4. I think you should do what you think is best. You are right, Noah won’t know. For Eiljah’s first birthday party we only had a small party at my in-laws later in the month and one at our house on his actual birthday. If there are other kids there, that are older, I tend to do more to keep them entertained. Like when Caleb turns 1, I am going to have a few activities because there are going to be 4, 3 and 2 year olds who are going to be invited. I guess it depends on the age of the kids. If they are around his age, they will really care less as long as they have toys to play with.

    It’s hard to say, but don’t compare. My in-laws throw crazy parties with all this detail, but, like you, it’s not for me. The closest thing I came to was the Angry Birds party I threw this past weekend and even -that- was pretty low key, but fun. Good luck with your planning and decision making.

  5. He won’t remember.
    I often feel like I’m less than the other moms who decorate their entire house as if it were Christmas.
    It’s ok that they do that, but I won’t.
    My kid is happy with just a small crowd with the ones he loves. He wants cake. And toys.
    Do what you feel is good for YOU.
    Don’t compare yourself to what others do. It’ll make you go batty 😉

  6. Like others have said do what you are comfortable with. For us we never did big parties. We did parties with family only. When Caleb got older we asked if he wanted a party with friends but he said no. Now that Madilyn is here we have yet to throw her a party with people other than family. Their bdays are June 24 and 25 with mine being July 2. It has kinda become a tradition to do a big family party and vacation. It works for us. I guess the key is to do what works for YOU.

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