I’ve enjoyed getting to know Donna from House of Lloyd as my not-so-new-anymore cousin-in-law the past few years, mostly through her blog since we don’t live all that close together.
Donna has a really amazing story to share about learning to trust God’s timing and showing thankfulness even when he doesn’t answer our prayers right away. And if you are a person of faith who has experienced any sort of infertility or if you have been through the waiting process with adoption (or are currently in the midst of it), you won’t want to miss what she has to say. It’s such a sweet reminder that God has our good in mind, even when we’re not totally convinced that’s true.
When Misty asked me to guest post on her blog about thankfulness I eagerly said yes and told her I would write up something about adoption since it is a topic near and dear to my heart. However, as I began to process the post and all I wanted to say, I decided I had much more to be thankful for than adoption.
Both David and I grew up in large families. When we married we knew we wanted kids, but we never agreed on a firm number. We just knew we wanted to be parents. When the time came for us to start our family we thought … this will be easy. However, month after month we found ourselves not expecting. After much medical testing we were told that we would have to go through fertility
treatments in order to have a child. Discouraged but not defeated (because there was hope) we began treatments. Several years later our hope was gone and we were defeated.
I gave up. I cried out to God. Truthfully I was angry at God. I felt like I was less of a woman because I could not do what every other woman on the planet could. I had students in my class getting pregnant, but I could not have a child, it was not fair. I prayed and sought God and finally turned my family over to him. Two weeks later I found out I was expecting.
I thought, “God, why did you do this to me. Why this path for our family? Why the torture, the pain, the hopelessness? Why did we have to work so hard and this and spend so much money to get to this point?”
I then realized that God had a lesson for me and that lesson was that it was in God’s time, not my time.
After having Caleb in 1996 we were told that due to PCOS and advanced endometriosis I would probably not be able to conceive again. So we began to talk about adoption. In 2006, we started the adoption process. I won’t bore you with all the details. I will say it was long and painful.
In July of 2008 our paperwork was set to expire, and we decided we were done. I wrote a blog post announcing to the world that we were done. We began to spend our adoption nest egg. Once again I was angry at God for not letting me have the family I always wanted and worked so hard to obtain. Once again life was not fair.
Then one night just 2 weeks before we would have to renew our paperwork my phone rang. It was the adoption agency. I ignored the call. David’s phone rang, and he ignored the call. The house phone rang, and we also ignored that call. I could not talk to them only to get my hopes up to have them dashed again. The calling cycle started again. This time David answered the call. A few minutes later he came to me and told me about the situation. We cried, we debated, we worried, and we had hope but did not want to be too hopeful. The next night at 11:45 after a nonstop day of travel and stress we had our baby girl placed in our arms. Once again God reminded me that it is always in his time not my time.
I am thankful for the lesson that God’s timing is always perfect. When life gets difficult I say to myself, “wait for God’s timing.” His timing brought me two beautiful children, Caleb and Madilyn. Because of this journey I am a different parent than I would have been if my children had come more easily. David and I have a stronger marriage because of this journey. Today and always I am thankful for the journey.
To read more, check out my blog, House of Lloyd, where I write about adoption, weight loss, family, religion and gardening.
Missed a post in the Thankful Series? You can catch up on them here.