A few weeks ago, Bobby and I met up for our weekly lunch date at Pearl Garden, one of our favorite local Chinese places. We always get a laugh out of the fortune cookies (We add “in bed” to the end. Do it. It will revolutionize your fortune cookie experience.), but this time I was a little caught off guard by the fortune in mine.
“When the flowers bloom, so will great joy in your life.”
I think we probably still joked a little bit, and Bobby teased me that maybe I’d be pregnant again in the spring (That’s a big, fat NO.). But that little cookie prophecy has stuck with me. I can hardly take my mind off it.
Last year was really, really hard. Have you ever seen an old, weather-beaten wooden house that has been abandoned for years … so abandoned that no one’s even bothered to tear it down?
That’s how the last year has made my soul feel.
I am weary. I have reached points where I wasn’t sure my emotions could handle any more. I have bent, but I. have. not. broken.
The past year has been spent clawing my way out of the dirt, sometimes with bare hands. I have mud under my fingernails and smudges on my face, but I can see daylight now, and it makes me yearn for the sunshine even more.
Yes, I’m tired, but I am hopeful. I am ready to see mourning turned to dancing and sorrow turned to joy. And that’s my prayer for 2012.
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